A snow day?

So, all I've been hearing about is this crazy winter storm we're supposed to get tonight... but I can't help but wonder if it will really be as bad as everyone's been saying. Let's face it, Missouri's weather is sooo hit or miss. Jason and I were so excited on Sunday when we walked out of sacrament meeting and saw that there was snow on the ground! The first snow of the winter! Well, for us. We were on our cruise the first time around. Anyway, we're hoping to have enough snow to cover the grass, but I'm kind of hoping for not much more. It makes me sooo nervous to ride in a car when the weather is bad! Jason's a rock star and drives pretty much everywhere, but sometimes he can get a little too excited about the snow and take off too fast, or talk about doing doughnuts, or acting like a 12 year old... not too cool. It would be fun to stay home and play with our puppy! Although, I don't see that happening. Since it's the busiest time of the year for work, we probably won't get to. BUT if the roads are super bad - you won't find me in a car!!! lol

Laundry Day!

So, why am I so excited? Well, probably because 1. I'm not actually doing all the laundry until tomorrow and 2. I washed the baby's stuff today and it was so fun! Strange how once you shrink the clothes about 12 sizes, it makes laundry fun, lol.

Uncontrolably Emotional... How Ridiculous!

I have nailed down the single worst part of being pregnant... screw the getting fat, not being able to breathe, puking until you can't anymore. No all of those fail in comparision to the truth - I hate that I am so undesirable to be around!!! I could not control my emotions if I wanted to and I know that makes me no fun at all. I can't take any criticism, everything offends me, I hate our dog because she wants my attention, and I feel like I pick the dumbest fights! I do not understand (nor will I ever) how Jason can still want to wake up next to me and tell me how much he loves me everyday. I've never actually suffered from depression or anything like it, but now that I feel so down all the time, I cannot imagine living everyday like this. Atleast I know that someday these feelings will end. I am so thankful for the days when I wake up and am so happy! I say a quiet prayer that I will be able to continue to feel like this the rest of the day or any day I'm feeling down. I'm just so thankful for Jason and for the help he gives me. 6 weeks and I am counting every moment!!!

American Idol and Church Ball

I cannot believe I actually watched an early show of American Idol! It was pretty comical... but it made me hate some new people... people who I've never even met, lol. It was awful yet entertaining for 2 hours.

Then Jason left for church basketball at 9. I do give him a pretty hard time about leaving me, but I don't really care. Well, I don't care unless it's Wednesdays AFTER he gets home and the next morning because that's when he comes home and tells me about the 42 ways he almost died at basketball, lol. There are several times when he has come home with HUGE bruises on his legs, or twisted ankles, he even needed stitches one time! Last night, while jumping out of bounds to save the ball (which didn't matter since he threw it so hard it went out of bounds on the other side of the court), he ran into the hard plastic curtain type divider and has a lovely imprint of it on his forehead... *sighs* He also managed to jam or possibly break one of this fingers and rupture blood vessels in another. I keep reminding him that is only church ball and not the end of the world. He goes for fun... but since when does fun include hurting yourself? hmmm...

Well, when Jason is running himself into the ground (by the way... he does not have health insurance), I watch the news and sleep, lol. I definitely get the better end of the deal because any injuries that happen while I'm dreaming, stay in dream world and that's the important thing!

So, I have a doctor's appointment today... good thing too because I have lots of questions. One thing I am definitely sure of is that the baby has dropped! So, that doesn't mean I'm going to go into labor tomorrow or even a couple weeks early, but it does mean that I have more room to breathe and I love it! It also doesn't make it easier to sleep which is super sad. Standing up is a lot stranger than it should ever be, and I get a little creeped out how low I feel this little guy moving. But I am all about mroe lung space so I will deal, lol.

33 Weeks and Counting!

So, up until this exact moment, my pregnancy has been FLYING by! And now, of course, when I am least comfortable, time chooses to drag on ever so slowly! No, I am not looking forward to super sleepless nights and diapers (not that it will necessarily be as bad as everyone makes it out to be), but I am looking forward to holding our sweet little boy and having my lung capacity back! lol. I miss breathing and singing. Jason (with the help of our bishop) has convinced me to join the ward choir, but it's completely useless because I can barely make it through the first verse of hymns in church! Let alone sing a special musical number that bishop has been reminding me I promised him when we moved in a year ago, lol.

I keep thinking about things to come that mean the very end of pregnancy... baby showers, buying the few last things I need, actually looking as pregnant as I am, lol. OK, not really looking forward to that, but I guess it has to happen sometime. By the way, I am still in pre-pregnancy clothes... good and bad. Jason and I are just very anxious to get the worst part over to enjoy the best parts that will surely ensue.

All you need is love...

So, here's what I'vee decided on in the last week or so... I cannot depend on anyone but myself and Jason, lol. But seriously, it seems like I always get let down at some point so I'm done being so trusting and thinking that maybe someone could be different. I'm so greatful for Jason - He's the BEST! Somedays are rough, but it doesn't make sense to try and elan on anyone else... instead of trying to fix your relationship and make hurt feelings better, your just talking badly about the person you are going to spend eternity with. What is up with that?!?! So, one of my resolutions is to be better at it, to lean on Jason even if he's driving me crazy! I know this is a totaly tangent, but I know that Jason will never hurt me the way others always manage to and that he loves me no matter what - he's shown me that time and time again.

Anyway, so, my mom is currently in Jamaica and I am totally jealous!! I wish it were sunny and warm here, but alas, winter doesn't end just because Christmas is over, lol. I'm super excited about how awesome my relationship has gotten with my mom. I never thought things would be this good ever again after the whole wedding thing... and then the baby thing... but things are great and I love going out there to spend time with mom dad and alex. OK, now i'm just rambling b/c I'm trying to stay awake until Jason gets home, but I think he's out of luck, lol

Oh Saturdays!

Saturdays are the one day a week we ae given to get all of our projects out of the way - a nesting, pregnant woman's dream!! Except for me, lol. However, today was definitely different from most Saturdays. I still had to work at 8:30 am for my landlord and had a back ache when I was done at 12:30. So I took a break, had some lunch, and got right back to work on my own stuff! I cleaned my house (well, part of it), made a gerocery list, went shopping, then felt guilty about asking Jason to come with me because I realized that he is fasting, lol. Then we got home, did some laundry, and UNdecorated our house from Christmas. Now I am finally sitting down to the internet and watching My Big Fat Greek Wedding - such a funny movie! Oh... and watching my belly move from the little man kicking me on the inside, lol.

I cannot believe that in a few short weeks (about 9) Jason and I will be holding our sweet little boy! I have been having such a fun time getting ready for him to come. I love all the gifts we've been fortunate enough to get and have had a great time shopping for the few things we've bought. I love it when Jason just randomly tells me how excited he is. I just wish we had a name picked out!! I guess when the time comes for us to ABSOLUTELY have settled on a name, we'll love whatever we pick, lol.

2009, PLEASE let me be wiser!

Jason and I had so much fun last night!! Mom drove all the way to our house basically just to pick up our puppy for us (she is awesome!) and we went to the doctor's office. I love going to the doctor's office! He's very quick to praise me which I feel like I need these days! My weight gain has been awesome, I don't call him 15 times a day with the same problem and he is very supportive of my choice to deliver naturally - yay! He's a very awesome guy and I am stoked! Then Jason and I ran some quick errands and got lunch at Applebee's (Thanks to my grandma for the gift card!). We went out to my mom and dad's house after that... Since they picked up Molly for us, I didn't want to blow them off. So we spent time here. Mom and I went to the store while Jason, Alex and my Dad played Baseball on the Xbox. Then I went to dinner with my friend from high school, Ashli and we had a blast! It was only about 45 minutes from the time we got there, ordered our food, ate, and got the bill. However, we ended up staying there for almost 3 hours just talking. We saw soooo many people we knew coming in and out so our table number would grow and decrease in size, but it was a lot of fun. I went straight from dinner to my friend Jamie's house where my family and Jason were waiting for me. We didin't stay too terribly long because I was getting pretty tired. So we came home and I fell asleep, but Jason woke me up just in time for New Years! I to watch the ball drop, got my kiss, ate some cereal, and went back to bed, lol.

Upon waking up this morning, however, all I can think about is one particular worry. The details are irrelevant, but I'm basically getting screwed over by someone who I NEVER thought would do this to me... and it makes me really sad. This isn't the first time where this person has been two faced with me and I'm just so shocked. That they would continue to do this to me and that I would let it. It's been going on waayyy too long. It's not like I can avoid this person, either. I just feel so hurt that they're not even pretending to be understanding or sympathetic of the situation at all. I guess it hurts so bad because, like I said, I never would have expected something like this from them. I don't even know how to approach the situation... I'm just at a loss and Jason doesn't know what to do either. It's just irritating how this person always says how willing they are to help if I ever needed anything, and now that I do (and it's not an outrageous request), I'm being told "Ummmm, I guess you better figure it out" Not a direct quote, but if they would actually say something to me instead of through the grapevine, I'm sure it would have sounded a lot like that. Thanks

So please, 2009, let me be wiser in the company I keep, the choices I make, and how to be compassionate to people who are in need... And then let me be an example to this person.