Oh how I miss thee!

I'm talking about sleep... I haven't had a decent night's sleep in over a week! This story dates back to the summer I was first pregnant with David. We saved some money and bought a new, pillow top mattress - it was awesome.... in the store anyway. A year later, we had to contact the manufacturer due to warranty issues. Mainly the body impressions and the pillow top was "gathering" in random areas. For a mattress that was 1 year old, it was completely unacceptable. The company replaced it under warranty and let us pay just a little more to upgrade to a king size which was amazing!

A year and a few months later (now), the king sized mattress we had gotten to replace our other worn out mattress had the same problem! Since we now live over 300 miles from the store we bought it from, replacing it under warranty would have been a big hassle so we sold it instead. The day before we sold it, we bought a new Tempur-pedic! We are so excited for our new bed... but it's taking FOREVER to get here! We ordered it last Monday and it won't be delivered to our house until Thursday or Friday of this week. In the mean time, we are sleeping on our queen sized air mattress... what. a. joke. I haven't slept well in days! I have constant headaches from not sleeping. I can't even take a nap because all I have to nap on is the air mattress! I can't even sleep on the couch because when I lay on it, I can't breathe. Yep, I'm exhausted! Please forgive the many grammatical errors that are sure to be found throughout this post as I can barely see my computer, lol

Christmas blessings

This year, it has seemed nearly impossible for me to get into the Christmas spirit. I always look forward to it and love having our own little family Christmas but it seems like Christmas came so quickly this year and I didn't have time to "get used" to the idea, I guess. Anyway, today I decided to reflect back on our year (actually, our entire marriage, lol) and to pick out the unbelievable ways we've been blessed. We have been blessed with an eternal temple marriage. We are so lucky to get to not only spend our lives together, but ETERNITY together. We have an AMAZING son... no really. I look at him in amazement everyday. He is everything we could have asked for. We will be welcoming a daughter in the Spring. Though we haven't met Ainzley yet, I feel like I've known her for so long! We were blessed to get pregnant with her right away (through extreme inspiration). She is active and loves to appease her daddy with kicks when he puts his hand on my tummy. She is loved by her brother who loves to snuggle my tummy and give "her" kisses. We are so fortunate to be able to pay our bills. Our testimonies of tithing have gotten us through the tough times and keeps us mindful during the times when we can be a little less frugal. Jason has a terrific job. Though it drives him crazy sometimes, he's happy to be working in the medical field and to be progressing toward his goal of becoming a nurse. Though there are many more, we are most thankful for the gospel of Jesus Christ in our lives. To have such a loving Heavenly Father and elder brother (Jesus Christ) to provide a plan for us and to be our savior. We are very happy in our church and out callings and hope to be able to continue to serve in the future.

Today I had to run out to WalMart to get one last gift for Jason. I absolutely loathe WalMart. Everyone always seems to be in a crabby mood and it's always busy. Today was no exception. I had to wait FOREVER for an employee to help me with Jason's gift and noticed so many upset people. I couldn't help but smile. Looking back on everything we have to be thankful for really made it hard for me to be "down". After getting Jason's gift, I had a few last minute things to pick up for Christmas dinner and after waiting in a LONG line, I realized I forgot to get something for dinner! I had to get out of line to run back and get a frozen pizza. Normally, this would have just made me livid, but today, I could have cared less. Today, I am grateful for my many blessings which will always trump my many earthly trials.

This Christmas, though our trials may be great, let's remember all the wonderful things we have to be grateful for and help others to realize their blessings as well. Merry Christmas!

It's kind of amazing

So, I recently reported about having to put a certain family member in time out. So far, no changes on their end but it's amazing the difference I feel. I really do feel liberated! I don't dislike this person and still think about them every day, but I no longer feel like I'm on edge constantly worrying about what's coming next or what they think. I always used to worry about what they would think about how I do things and now I just don't care. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I'm putting my self and my family first rather than this person's judgments. I don't care what they think of how I'm doing in school. I don't care what they think of me having Ainzley at home with a midwife. For a long time I've been able to have this attitude with other people but I've never had the back bone to do so towards this person. I've had so many people compliment me on my decision to be a grown up about the situation (minus calling it a "time out", lol) and sticking up for myself.... It feels good.

I hope hope hope that this time out doesn't have to last long. I miss the time I used to spend with this person before things got bad. I want them to be a part of our lives, but they need to know they way they are acting is not ok. After verbalizing this to them many times, I found I needed a way for them to easily understand just how serious about this I am... Fingers crossed that it sticks!

Preview **Updated**

We got our Christmas pictures yesterday! It was kind of rough since David didn't have patience, but we still got some cute shots. Here are our favs:

Our week

It has been a long week... and it's not over yet!

Firstly, Jason had to work 6 days this week which makes for a family longing for time with Daddy. David really and truly will hug and not let go when he sees his daddy. It's adorable and makes me sad for him - he so obviously misses his dad! At least next week is finals week at school so we'll have every morning together. Secondly, we're all FINALLY getting over being sick! We still have runny noses, but no more cough or fevers.

Our Christmas party is on Sunday and we are so excited! There's a lot of work leading up to it, though. I got a good deal of house cleaning done today (in addition to a HUGE final project for Psychology and a test for Anthropology) and I'm just about half way through my Christmas baking. I love feeling accomplished!

Lately, I've been thinking about the holidays and all that goes along with it... mainly family. After Thanksgiving, I'm glad we're having our own Christmas again this year. I have always loved being around family for the holidays but it's just gotten too difficult emotionally for me. It's no secret that I haven't had the best relationship with my family over the past few years and I've finally had enough. I'm just tired of being walked all over and being neglected at the same time. Someone's getting a time out!!! I've been trying and trying (for three years) and haven't felt the same effort from others... hopefully having us absent for awhile will help get my point across. I feel like I've tried everything else and am sad that it's come to this :(

On a happier note, Ainzley seems to be doing well. She is growing and is soooo active! She's way more active than David was. Next week, we're getting our family/Christmas pictures done and I'm getting some maternity shots - I am so excited! I never even thought about maternity pics when I was pregnant with David and I wish I had. It's such a special time and it should be documented.

Anyway, I guess that's all I've got for now. Hope everyone had a good week! And yes, I did give up on the 30 day blog challenge, lol